Sometimes I wonder if I'm a unicorn. Not that I'm so majestic or anything but I feel as though I'm the only one who acts and has the personality that I do. I'm not saying I'm better than anyone (although I am better than probably 75% of humans out there). I say this because I feel I react to things differently than most people. I expect nothing of anyone and I am grateful when good things come my way.
That being said..... WHAT THE FUCK IS WRONG WITH SOME PEOPLE?! That douche that I was seeing is really getting on my goddamn nerves now. He had some financial bullshit happen over the past week and expects me to treat him as though he's one of the Special Golden Five. (For those that don't know, the Special Golden Five are my five best friends. They're all completely 100% awesome and I am thankful every day that I'm in my 30s and I still have these awesome people in my life. End gay side note.) Now. It's been 3 goddamn weeks. And he's annoying as fucking shit. Literally. What 36 year old man taps on a phone saying the other persons name over and over and over and over again until that persons hair falls out from sheer annoyance?????!!??!!?!?!?!??! NO ONE DOES THAT. MY SIX YEAR OLD NEPHEW DOESN'T DO THAT!!!!!!!!!!!! Don't come at me telling me I'M BORING and expect me to drop everything and baby you through a situation you got yourself into in the first place. Fuck off creeper.
You will never make my Special Golden Five be a Special Golden Six if you cannot behave as an adult. Don't get me wrong. I'm silly and ridiculous most times. But when I meet someone new, whether they're a friend or wanna get into my romantic pants, I am on my best behavior. He's done so many unsavory things in the last 3 weeks that I don't even understand how someone hasn't ended him yet. Maybe that someone will be me. Maybe he is my nemesis and I must stop him. Metropolis will not be the same until he's gone. And by Metropolis, I mean my life. Cause that's all that matters really. God, why is it so hard for me to be a dick? Someone help. Call him on my behalf. I need a damn spine.
Monday, August 15, 2011
Thursday, August 11, 2011
Didn't die.................. YET!!
Hello BloggittyAzzBloggaz!!
I'm sorry I've been away for so long. I've missed you. Did you lose some weight? You look great! Just kidding, I just want to get back into your good graces. And by graces, I mean pants.
So I know you're wondering... OHHH WHATS BEEN GOING ON WITH YOUUUU I NEED TO KNOW TELL ME BABY GIRLLLLL CAUSE I NEED TO KNOW!!!
Well.. First of all, calm down, Marc Anthony. Jennifer Lopez hates you.
I went on a week long vacation. Finally, after 45639 years, I was able to take a nice RELAXING vacation where I left my home for an entire week and did not return for 7 full days. It was glorious! It was actually probably one of the best vacations of my life.
Now onto the juicy. I met a dude. True story. He even came up to me, I didn't have to pay him to know me. It was so strange. But he's fucking weird. Now let me ask you this... I have a perfectly good cooca so why am I always the guy in a relationship? This little bitch couldn't handle that I smoke. So I pretty much told him to go eff off and then decided that I want to get laid so maybe I'll "quit". That didn't seem to phase him. And I must say... with the prospect of dating off the table... I kinda want nothing to do with him. Is that bad? Once the idea of doozin it went away... I'm kinda just like "nah." Am I a bad person? I kinda feel like I have more friends than anyone could ever ask for, especially at this age. I don't need or want another one. Part of me feels bad cause he has no friends, but that's not my fault. I'm going to conversate all over his face this weekend because I ain't gonna be friends with zero benefits. What a waste of time. If I wanted someone to take day trips with, I can call 5 people off the top of my head to go do that with me. Basically what I'm saying is.... I don't want a boyfriend without the boy parts. I'm a terrible person.
I'm sorry I've been away for so long. I've missed you. Did you lose some weight? You look great! Just kidding, I just want to get back into your good graces. And by graces, I mean pants.
So I know you're wondering... OHHH WHATS BEEN GOING ON WITH YOUUUU I NEED TO KNOW TELL ME BABY GIRLLLLL CAUSE I NEED TO KNOW!!!
Well.. First of all, calm down, Marc Anthony. Jennifer Lopez hates you.
I went on a week long vacation. Finally, after 45639 years, I was able to take a nice RELAXING vacation where I left my home for an entire week and did not return for 7 full days. It was glorious! It was actually probably one of the best vacations of my life.
Now onto the juicy. I met a dude. True story. He even came up to me, I didn't have to pay him to know me. It was so strange. But he's fucking weird. Now let me ask you this... I have a perfectly good cooca so why am I always the guy in a relationship? This little bitch couldn't handle that I smoke. So I pretty much told him to go eff off and then decided that I want to get laid so maybe I'll "quit". That didn't seem to phase him. And I must say... with the prospect of dating off the table... I kinda want nothing to do with him. Is that bad? Once the idea of doozin it went away... I'm kinda just like "nah." Am I a bad person? I kinda feel like I have more friends than anyone could ever ask for, especially at this age. I don't need or want another one. Part of me feels bad cause he has no friends, but that's not my fault. I'm going to conversate all over his face this weekend because I ain't gonna be friends with zero benefits. What a waste of time. If I wanted someone to take day trips with, I can call 5 people off the top of my head to go do that with me. Basically what I'm saying is.... I don't want a boyfriend without the boy parts. I'm a terrible person.
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